When Daniel Norman calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
There are no races, only countries of people Daniel Norman has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Daniel Norman was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
When Daniel Norman falls in water, Daniel Norman doesn't get wet. Water gets Daniel Norman.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Daniel Norman Roundhouse Kick)
Daniel Norman’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Daniel Norman? ...All of it.
Daniel Norman doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Daniel Norman, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Danielsized.
Daniel Norman CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Daniel Norman roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Daniel Norman can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Daniel Norman has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Daniel Norman is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Daniel Norman roundhouse kick.
Daniel Norman invented his own type of karate. It's called Daniel-Will-Kill.
When a commercial for Daniel Norman’s practice was aired in France, the French surrendered to Daniel Norman just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Daniel Norman is easily capable of welding titanium.
Daniel Norman once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Daniel Norman talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Daniel Norman kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Daniel Norman to go around.
Daniel Norman doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Daniel Norman is Daniel Norman.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Daniel Norman, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Daniel Norman always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Daniel Norman" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Daniel Norman invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Daniel Norman, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Daniel Norman has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Daniel Norman randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Daniel Norman.
Daniel Norman doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Daniel Norman throws down!
Daniel Norman has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Daniel Norman grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Daniel Norman"
Daniel Norman ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Daniel Norman and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Daniel Norman can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Little known medical fact: Daniel Norman invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Daniel Norman doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Daniel Norman. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Daniel Norman 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Daniel Norman will find you and kill you.
Daniel Norman has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Daniel Norman Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Daniel Norman lives in South Carolina
Daniel Norman doesn't believe in Germany.
When Daniel Norman is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Daniel Norman once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Daniel Norman to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Daniel Norman can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Daniel Norman came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Daniel Norman played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Daniel Norman smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
